I like big ideas about what’s going on and have a bunch of them in the works. On a simpler level I have another channel that’s filled with closer-in-thoughts like these. I think of these as little inspirations for the moment. Here’ one, fresh baked:
Every day we wake up lonely and afraid, said Rumi somewhere. I love that such a joyful life-lover could say that. I experience a version of it myself. Often I notice a familiar shrinking in me. I don't want to put my thoughts or feelings forward, what I fully think. There’ll be trouble if I do. I think I should hide a little, that I’ll be hated for saying whatever it is. Then I question if what I'm wanting to say it’s actually true. More accurately I question whether people will like me for it, and I call that truth.
I can't know whether what I want to say is true. But I know that it's my truth and I'm in relationship with others. It’s worth sharing because it’s mine. I straighten up then and feel at least I can trust that. I can share it just because it’s mine, not because it’s some grand truth I’m schilling for. So I share it as straightforwardly as I can and know that others can take what they want and have whatever response they want. They can vehemently disagree or more commonly, just give no response whatsoever.
I like it when people do respond, but can’t measure what it actually means (think Gangnam Style). When I’ve risked sharing, for better or worse, I stand up a little straighter. I open myself to instruction from the world, clarification, some kind of give and take. Here’s my sister Annie whose birthday is today showing that off.
I start to live in the present rather than the imagined future of rejection. I open to a sense of humor about my existential situation, which I recognize as ours and not only mine. I can step into life without knowing what will happen next. It’s me, alive.
Just came across you via mutual friend Anni Mukula Stinn. Love this thought of the day and way of thought. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Andrew. Question: What do you mean by "schilling for"?