Benefits of Dyad Meditation (with a Partner)
And quick notes about what Dyad Meditation and Presencing look like
Hi,
I use the word meditation because it’s familiar but my experience of this is so different I find that it really needs its own name. It’s often called Dyad Meditation (dyad means a group of two) and sometimes Presencing.
Whatever the name meditation with a partner lends a powerful new light on whatever meditation practice or consciousness work you do do. Dyad Meditation and Presencing can be applied to many practices and settings so this is just one version.
I’ll say what it is first, and then how it’s different from other forms and perhaps useful for you.
(painting by Danielle Winger)
How Dyad Meditation is typically practiced
Typically this is the form: Two people (either in person or via zoom) face each other and take timed periods - typically of five minutes each - alternating between contemplating aloud or listening. They commonly do this for four periods over a total of 40 minutes. Each chooses a prompt or question (Tell me who you are, Tell me what you are, Open to Presence, Opening to Presence what is arising now, among many others.)
The listener looks with interest at the speaker / contemplator but maintains a neutral expression, thus allowing the speaker their own experience unmoderated by approval. The listener also refrains from eating or drinking or doing anything but offering witnessing attention. The contemplator relays their response to the prompt as best they can.
There are more components to the protocol and typically you’ll receive a short introduction to this as it’s very different from what we usually do. For example, the speaker says what’s arising in the moment, rather than tells a story from the past or future. Speaking is unscripted and spontaneous. It tends to quickly takes us out of our usual mind.
Some benefits
Here are some likely benefits; they seem to be inherent in the Dyad space:
It may be the first time that a speaker has ever been asked to relay his or her present unscripted experience. That’s a benefit, even if it seems scary at the moment.
Witnessing in this neutral manner gives us information about how we usually hear others.
The distinction between what we actually think or feel and what we think it’s expected of us to think or feel is highlighted.
Sensitive and difficult areas can be explored in a neutral space making them more accessible to us when we go there another time, for example with an intimate partner.
We can become aware of how much we hide or mask ourselves.
If we do notice this we have an opportunity to do it differently.
The relational aspect of dyad meditation is more like life - relational and actual - rather than theoretical and speculative. It tends to pull us out of our heads
Patterns in our personal behaviour often become visible to us, again in a neutral space. We have some space to explore them.
Distinct from therapeutic and quasi-therapeutic techniques, there is no helper and no helpee. The two partners are profoundly equal. This is powerful to know. There’s no opportunity for “power tripping.”
The distinction between what’s my business and what’s your business becomes clear. The set-up itself reinforces the understanding that it’s always our business; there’s no room to put it on another.
Speakers can choose their prompts and have time and opportunity to explore whatever they wish. This frees things up and reduces anxiety about doing it right.
The central spiritual problem or difficulty people have is being locked into a limited perspective we can’t see. Just being there with another we see we’re not so different and in fact, share the landscape of a wide inner world with them.
I could honestly go on and on. Just as regular meditation does, Dyad Meditation - or Presencing as I like to call it, reveals the larger context that we’re already in. There’s no limit to what can be learned there.
You also have the opportunities to explore this further with me or in other contexts with others all over the world.
If you want to learn and practice Dyad Meditation, I invite you to a 90 minute experience this Saturday, October 7th at 1pm Eastern Time. I’ll give a short teaching as to the form we’ll us and then we’ll practice. Please be on time or a few minutes early as the room will be locked once we’re started.
Andrew
ps I shared my own initiation into this type of practice in the last post, which you can read here.
If you decide after registering to not attend, let me know as it’s helpful for me as host to see who and how many will be there. There will be other opportunities to practice, with me and with other communities.